⚠️ This is a template, not legal advice. DadHelp is not a law firm. A 209A order can remove you from your home, take away your firearms, and cut you off from your children. Hire a family law attorney experienced in 209A defense immediately. If you can't afford one, contact legal aid (see resources at the end). Laws change — verify at mass.gov.
1
Understanding What Just Happened
What is a 209A order? A civil restraining order under M.G.L. c. 209A. It's free to file and can be obtained same-day by the person who requested it (the "plaintiff"). You are the "defendant."
Where was it issued? A 209A can be issued by a District Court, Boston Municipal Court, or Probate & Family Court. Check the top of your order — it says which court.
Two hearings:
- 1st hearing (ex parte): Already happened — the plaintiff went alone. The judge issued a temporary order if there was a "substantial likelihood of immediate danger of abuse." This lasts up to 10 business days.
- 2nd hearing (10-day hearing): This is YOUR chance to fight it. Both parties present. You MUST attend. Look at page 2 of your order for the date and time.
⚠️ What a 209A order can do to you RIGHT NOW
- Remove you from your home — even if the lease/title is in your name
- Grant temporary custody of your children to the plaintiff
- Order no contact with your children — including staying away from school/daycare
- Force you to surrender all firearms and licenses (mandatory within 24 hours)
- Order you to pay child support or temporary support
2
Immediate Actions — Do These NOW
Read the order carefully — EVERY pageNote the 10-day hearing date on page 2. This is your first chance to contest. Missing this can result in the order being extended up to 1 year without your input.
Do NOT contact the plaintiff — in ANY wayNo texts, calls, emails, social media messages, or contact through third parties. ANY contact is a criminal violation. If the plaintiff contacts you, do not respond — document it.
Surrender all firearms immediatelyIf the order requires it (most do), you must surrender all firearms, ammunition, and FID/LTC licenses within 24 hours to your local police department. Failure is a criminal offense.
Vacate the home if orderedIf the order says to stay away from the plaintiff's address and you live there, you must leave. Bring essential belongings — but do not take anything that belongs to the plaintiff.
Do NOT retaliate or confront the plaintiffNo angry texts, no showing up, no sending friends to talk to them. This will be used against you. Stay calm and let the legal process work.
Hire a 209A defense attorney IMMEDIATELYYou need someone who knows 209A defense specifically — not just general family law. Time is critical. If you can't afford one, contact legal aid (see resources).
Do NOT post about this on social mediaNo posts, no comments, no indirect references. Screenshots of anything you post will be used against you in court.
3
Gather Evidence IMMEDIATELY
The 10-day hearing is your chance to present your side. You need evidence — start collecting it the moment you're served.
Save ALL text messages and emailsScreenshot every communication with the plaintiff. Include dates, times, and full context. Don't crop — full screen only. Save the original files on a backup drive.
Save all voicemails and call logsKeep voicemails from the plaintiff. Screenshot your call log showing who called whom and when.
Save social media posts by the plaintiffScreenshot the plaintiff's social media — especially posts made AFTER the alleged abuse date that contradict the claims (e.g., photos of them smiling, out with friends, references to being happy).
Identify witnessesAnyone who was present during the alleged incidents, or who can attest to your character or the nature of your relationship. Get names, phone numbers, and written statements.
Document the timelineWrite down everything that happened — dates, times, locations, what was said. Use the Custody Journal template from this document pack. Be factual, not emotional.
Get prior police recordsIf the plaintiff has called police before but no arrest was made, or if there's a history of false reports, get those records. They show a pattern.
Gather proof of peaceful interactionTexts/emails showing normal, peaceful communication between you and the plaintiff AFTER the alleged abuse date. This contradicts the claim of fear.
Pattern evidence — timing of the orderDid the 209A filing coincide with a custody dispute, a breakup, or a financial conflict? If the allegations arose only after a legal dispute began, that's evidence of motive.
Character evidenceProfessional reputation, community standing, employment records, no prior criminal record, no prior 209A orders.
4
Prepare for the 10-Day Hearing
Organize evidence in a binderChronological, labeled tabs, 3 copies of everything (you, judge, plaintiff). Use the Evidence Organization Sheet from this document pack.
Prepare your testimonyWrite out what happened — factual, concise, chronological. Practice saying it out loud. Stick to facts. Don't get emotional on the stand.
Bring witnessesWitnesses wait outside the courtroom until called. Make sure they know the date, time, and location. Subpoena them if necessary (ask the clerk).
Dress appropriatelySuit or sport coat with tie. This is a courtroom — dress like you respect the process. See the Court Prep Checklist for full dress code.
Arrive 30 minutes earlySecurity, parking, finding your courtroom. Being late is devastating.
Do NOT bring your phoneMany MA courthouses ban phones. Leave it in your car.
Do NOT bring your childrenUnless specifically ordered by the judge. Arrange childcare.
Bring photo IDRequired to enter the courthouse.
5
At the 10-Day Hearing — What to Do
Stand when the judge enters — "All rise"Stand. Sit when invited. Show respect for the court at all times.
Address the judge as "Your Honor"Always. Say "Yes, Your Honor" / "No, Your Honor." Never interrupt.
The plaintiff presents firstThe plaintiff (or their attorney) presents their case — testimony, evidence, witnesses. Do NOT react. No facial expressions. No muttering. The judge watches you the entire time.
You present your defenseYour turn: testify, present evidence, call witnesses. Be factual, concise, and calm. Answer only what's asked. Don't volunteer information.
Cross-examine the plaintiffIf self-represented, you have the right to question the plaintiff. Ask about inconsistencies, timing, motive. Stay calm and respectful — do NOT argue.
Challenge the evidenceIf the plaintiff has no photos, no police reports, no witnesses, no medical records — point that out. Hearsay is generally not admissible.
Never badmouth the plaintiffRefer to them as "the plaintiff." Present facts, not character attacks. The judge wants to see stability and composure, not hostility.
💡 Key legal protections for you
- A 209A order alone does NOT equal a finding of abuse for custody purposes (M.G.L. c. 208, § 31A)
- Ex parte 209A orders are NOT admissible to prove abuse occurred — only underlying facts can
- Per Smith v. Joyce, 421 Mass. 520 (1995): For a 209A to require you to stay away from your children, there must be independent support for that order
- The Probate & Family Court can change custody provisions of a District Court 209A order
6
After the Hearing — Possible Outcomes
If the order is DISMISSED: You're free. The order is vacated. Keep all documentation showing it was dismissed — you may need it later if the plaintiff files again or if it comes up in a custody case.
If the order is CONTINUED (extended up to 1 year): You have 30 days to appeal to the MA Appeals Court. Talk to an attorney immediately. You can also file a Defendant's Motion to Modify or Terminate (Form FA-14) if circumstances change.
⚠️ If the order is continued — follow it EXACTLY
Any violation — even accidental — is a criminal offense. No contact means NO contact. No texts, no calls, no showing up at places the plaintiff might be. If the plaintiff contacts you, do NOT respond — document it and report it to your attorney or the court.
Download Form FA-14Defendant's Motion to Modify or Terminate Abuse Prevention Order. File this if circumstances change or new evidence emerges.
Document everythingKeep tracking all interactions (or lack thereof) in your custody journal. If the plaintiff violates the order by contacting you, document it.
File to vacate if you win appealIf you appeal and win, the order is vacated. Make sure the court records reflect this.